Tough Days
Today was tough….
Well, at least the last block of my teaching day was.
Even with ten years of experience behind me and working in challenging environments, I thought I’ve seen what most of this profession could throw at me. I was wrong.
I spent the majority of my career working in alternative teaching environments, which allowed me to explore innovative and different ways to construct my classroom management style.
I’ve always favoured a democratic approach to classroom management over an authoritarian one. I’ve written about my approach before but since I’ve been at a more traditional school, it has been put to the test more and more.
For the large majority of my classes, there are no major issues as building a culture of relationship and community building creates an environment for students to take ownership and co-construct the classroom environment. Every class presents challenges but I have always chosen to lead with empathy and work to support students to stay in class and become positive members of the classroom.
However, every few years I have a class that completely challenges my democratic approach. A class that pushes me towards being an authoritarian in the classroom as students demand punitive discipline when one of their classmates steps out of line.
Today, I decided to hold a class meeting with my end of day class to address some issues we’ve been having. Earlier in the week I was upset and disappointed with some conflicts in the class and continued disruption from a number of students and I let them know about that. I pulled students aside to talk one on one and reviewed the classroom norms we established at the beginning of the year. Today, during our class meeting, I passed a talking piece around during our circle so each student could voice their ideas of fixing some of our issues. Most students did not have any suggestions, or at least did not want to voice them publicly, but many students called for very punitive measures of their classmates and for me to stop giving second chances to students who are disruptive in class. As a person who’s identity is strongly tied to being a teacher, hearing this bothered me a lot.
I’ve been upfront about my approach to creating an equitable and safe classroom for all. Of course, students are going to challenge the classroom norms, I did when I was a student. But what upsets me is that I can’t seem to effectively communicate to students the lesson of collective responsibility as well as community problem solving when it comes to issues. I’m trained in restorative justice and work with students to learn self-discipline and self-direction rather than relying on authority to regulate their behaviour. Of course there are consequences and I often work with families to come up with strategies that fit the individual students who are struggling.
But to my core, and perhaps this is my failing as an educator, is that I absolutely refuse to give up on a student. If my teachers and parents gave up on me as a teenager, I wouldn’t be where I am today. If I wasn’t given 2nd and 3rd chances, I wouldn’t get to do what I love each and every day. A student's disruptive behaviour does not happen for no reason and finding out that root cause and teaching strategies for being in school is what I love to do. But sometimes that process takes longer than desired and some of the students in this particular classroom are calling for me to rule with an iron fist and I get why. Problems are solved faster, and “problem” students are removed from the class making life easier. But that’s not the lesson I want to pass on to my students. That some of us are expendable and that we can give up those who challenge us. However, teaching this lesson is more challenging with this group who are craving the more traditional methods of the profession.
I also know what happens when students are perpetually sent to the office and find themselves getting suspended and expelled. These students, the troublemakers if you will, often follow a path of falling through the cracks out of the public education system. At my last school, this was the demographic I worked with so I know the challenges that come along with not finding a way to succeed in schools.
I love the grind and process of teaching and even though today was challenging and left me feeling like an ineffective teacher, I learned a lot. I learned that I still have a lot of room to grow to evaluate my own bias around classroom management as well as how I communicate a democratic and community-oriented approach to classroom management.
At the end of the class, the most disruptive student asked to speak. He stood up and apologized for his behaviour. He didn’t make any excuses or lay blame anywhere else, he just apologized to the class and promised to do better. The students applauded and I hope that this is our silver lining moving forward that we all belong in this classroom and even when our community norms are continually disrupted, we can put the work in together to restore harmony in our classroom.
So tomorrow, I’ll throw on a pair of jeans, a plaid shirt and jean jacket, lace-up my vans and get back at it. I like to tell people I’m the hardest working average teacher you’ll ever meet. I’ve never felt that I have any natural talent or ability but I find solace in what I learned from my hometown of Windsor, Ontario. If I put my hard work and preparation in front of me and stick to the process instead of riding the highs and lows of teaching, I’ll continue to grow into a better teacher for all of my students.
And if you’re like me, and are having challenging days around similar issues, Check out Reframing Classroom Management: A Toolkit for Educators from Teaching Tolerance. It has often been an affirming resource in times of challenge.
